May the Rose Ceremonies Continue

.... NOPE! The final rose has not been given out, and the search continues. Let's just say that after what I've been through, I have a much quicker wit, and I'm a tad punchy. ;) Catch me if you can, guys..... because you'll be chasing for a while~~~~~

It's Like I'm the Bachelorette or Something....

Alright, it's back to singletown. Four months after my break up with Greg, and here I am. I said for many months, even years now, that I would cave in and join Match. So I did. I gotta tell ya, it's like I'm the new bachelorette.

First week was INSANE! Emails after emails after winks after viewed profiles. I had 4 dates in that week. Needless to say, I was pooped! I have to admit, I had SO much fun! Going out with different guys, different personalities, having different conversations, eating/drinking different things.... MUCH more exciting than whatever I experienced in my relationship with Greg.

I had the most incredible date with this one guy. His name was Chris, and he was an engineer. I was head over heels. He took me to The Basin in Saratoga. First of all, for a guy to take me to a restaurant that I have never been is already a plus. Sounds simple, doesn't it? I'm telling you now, it doesn't take very much to make me happy, and yes, THAT is how much I've been deprived. Anyhoo, Chris took me to The Basin where we talked, got to know each other, and made Joanne laugh. There was another couple (a tad on the middle-aged side) who sat next to us, and Chris asked me if I thought they were on another Match.com date. LOL!! After dinner, I wasn't ready to call it a night (even though I had to be at work by 7:30am the next morning). We were walking around for a bit afterwards, and he asked me how long my curfew was. I told him I would break it for the night. We ended up going to a bar down the street. He warned me that it would be kinda cheesy. After all, there was carpet in there! LOL! It was punk-rock night, and regardless, Chris and I had a great time rockin out and drinking beers. He was impressed at how well I can handle my alcohol. He said I looked so innocent, but can drink?!?! Ohhhhh, little does he know..... LOL!!!!! He kissed me (OMG~!!!!!!!), and it was one of those where-the-rest-of-the-world-melts-away kind of kisses. I had a fantastic time, can't you tell?! The next time we hung out, he seemed so tired from work, so I offered to go to his place and bring some wine over. He was soooo touched and appreciative. I met his roommates, we had a great time, and let's just say he and I had smiles on our faces the following day. We had plans to hang out the week after, and he came out to my neck of the woods that day. We went to sushi. We had a blast laughing, eating, drinking sake.... We got back into my car where he saw my pen collection. He saw my ginormous sharpie and asked me why i have that. LOL! I told him my dad put it in my car. He asked, "ok, so that you can date a boy one day and draw on him?!" Well, that wasn't a bad idea, so I did. He asked me to draw an anchor on him. So I did, along with some hearts, smiley faces, and flowers. LOL! We went back to my house to hang out, had more laughs about facebook and his new sharpie tattoo. He spends the night... don't worry, it's totally PG-13. Early the next morning, he wakes up, lays there, and gets up to leave. That was the last I heard from him... WOW.. So I wouldn't put out, and that's why you won't call me again??! Ugh! NEXT!!! I was still bummed tho. I really did like this one. Oh well, moving on.

There's a few that have captured my attention. I'll use nicknames for them because that's more fun hehe. There Entrepreneurial Personal Trainer guy (we'll call him PT), there's Metro 1/2 Chinese and 1/2 Colombian guy (let's just call him Metro), there's Guray who doesn't even deserve a nick name, and there's the family friend guy. Let me just go on a tangent here and explain the family friend guy. He once dated my roommate for a brief 2 weeks or less. While he was doing so, we found out that his aunt is my mom's friend, and I grew up with his cousins. PT guy is really busy with work and running his own business. Even his text messages are so delayed. We did have lunch one time, and it was so cute! He got me a dozen Sour Patch Kids packs because those are my favorite candy hehe. Metro guy is SO metro! OMG! he's always talking about fashion and shopping. If I'M annoyed by this, we have a problem. I normally do not have an issues talking about fashion and shopping, but when a guy is more into it than I am.... NEXT. Guray i talked to on the phone ONE time. He text messaged me another time when I couldn't respond because I had friends over. An hour later, he sends me an email that says, "i guess you're not interested. take care. bye." Okkkkk, wth!? Someone is a little crazy... NEXT! Then there's family friend. He's being very sweet to me. He's playing this game that puts himself in the "friend zone."

Then there's B. If I were the Bachelorette, B would definitely be one of the strong runners. :) We have this compatible connection that I like. It's so easy to talk to him! The first couple times we talked to each other, he didn't ask me out. I liked that because I felt like he was really trying to get to know me. The time we did go out, we were little chatterboxes! :) So cute! I even met a couple of his friends, and it came to the point were I ended up inviting him to my friend's housewarming party the following weekend. The rest of the week was ok. We talked on the phone as much as we could. It sucks that I felt little bits of disappointment during the week. For example, we wanted to see each other earlier than Saturday, so we planned for Thursday, but he couldn't get anyone to watch his daughter, so it didn't happen. Then on Friday, I got out of work around 11pm, and when I called him, he was already asleep. I know this is little stuff, but as my friend Sister Mary Rose put it, when a girl wants to see her man, she should see her man! siiiigh.... So then comes the housewarming party. We had a blast! He was a hit with my friends! They all loved him, and even their significant others felt the need to pull me aside to tell me how great of a catch B is. :) I know he his... he just has baggage (someone once told me that everyone has baggage, the key is to pick the one with a light carry-on... well...... this guy has a good, sized, 50lbs checked-in luggage). AHH! Anyway, on Saturday, he told me, "I don't want you dating other people." I was shocked! I mean, this is only the 2nd time we've hung out! Why do you want to lock me down so soon? You hardly know me?! He is probably the best in the bunch that I've dated since Greg, but I'll be honest.... I wasn't done exploring just yet. =P

Does this mean that I may have given away my final rose????

Stay tuned.......

When single people get into relationships, they tend to forget about other things. In order to focus their attention into their relationships, some forget about going to the gym, some forget their friends. I forget my blog! Well here I am, and I apologize. I'm sorry for being "one of THOSE girls." I'm sorry for neglecting you, Blog. I'm here now. *da da da daaaaaaaaaaaaaaa* (trumpet sound).

This single girl has lots to blog about, so stay tuned....... :)

I think I've completely lost what the meaning of love really is. I think my entire adult life has been dedicated to desparately trying to find that true love. I found it once, and now i doubt I'll ever find anything that comes close to it. I think I've been left so broken after Peter, that I've been trying to find someone that will fill that void. However, in that journey, I've ended up hurting myself so many times, in so many ways I don't deserve. But I admit it, I brought all of it upon myself. I have to give Peter credit. He was sooooo much stronger than me to remain single until there was someone that caught his heart like I didnt. Instead, I just settled... and settled... and settled.

I want the day to come when I'm happy in love, but I dont even remember what it feels like to be in love. How can I be "THE ONE" to so many people (*rolls eyes* btw), but I haven't felt that about anyone. Or if I thought I did, i was TERRIBLY wrong. How am I supposed to know what's real and what's not? :(

Pee-Pee Paul

I love my Lobster to pieces. (Just a reminder, my friend Linda is referred to my "Lobster" for the many times she and I have been there for each other. Regardless of the situation, we never leave each others' sides. Therefore, we refer to each other as "Lobster" because when lobsters find their soul mate, they link claws for life and never leave each others' side.) Lobster wants to see me in a happy relationship, and we once had a conversation where she thought it would be ideal if I dated a black guy. Where she came up with this theory, I DO NOT KNOW. During this conversation, she mentioned that she saw me with a classy, tall, built, light-skinned black guy.

One night, Lobster and I were at Santana Row on one of our many Lobster dates. We were hanging out at Straits, and this same conversation about myself dating a black guy came up again.

Lobster: I see you with a guy like THAT. *points to a tall, built, light-skinned, bald headed, sexy man*
Me: Okkkkk
[some minutes pass]
Lobster: No seriously! I see you with a guy like THAT. *points to the same tall, built, light-skinned, bald headed, sexy man*

This goes on for most of the evening until homeboy actually comes up to me and says, "My friend likes your friend. I like you. Let's talk."

Smooth. Really?! Ok, so for the hell of it, I sat there and talked to this guy. Through out most of our conversation, he was trying to get my number. He kept telling me that he hardly gives out his number, so I'm a rare case. (riiight. ok. sure) Lobster and I leave SRow, and I come home to see 6 text messages from this guy telling me how great it was to meet me, Lobster and I seemed like fun, he'll call me the next day etc etc.

So his name is Paul, and we chat for a bit the next day. I'm thinking there's really not much to talk to this guy about because our first conversation was about partying, food, where we're partying the next weekend, alcohol, and facebook. I add this guy on FB and his profile is pretty much about how proud he is of his body and his son. Excellent. We have a Mr. Wonderful on our hands. At best, I thought this guy was going to be one of my party friends that I occasionally run into and say hello to at the bars/lounges/clubs.

A few weeks go by, and I haven't really spoken to this guy. Eventually, he gives me a call and we start chatting about what we did over the past weekend. He seemed genuinely offended that I didn't invite him to come party with my friends and me, so I invited him to my birthday shindig at Infusion Lounge the next coming weekend. Without hesitation, he accepted and PLANNED on going. I was pretty surprised at how eager he was, but whatever.

Infusion night arrives. The night began with a lot of drama. At the time, I was somewhat exclusively dating Aaron. (That experience will be a separate blog entry. Oh how the stories never end =P) Aaron was being a total douchebag at Infusion. He ended up leaving early, and I really didn't care because my tall, built, light-skinned, bald headed, sexy man was coming and I was happy to have a nice arm accessory for the evening. I must say, his arms were looking mighty sexy in that white, Burberry polo shirt he was wearing. (For those of you who don't know, I have a thing for arms. There's something about strong arms that make me want to sink my teeth into a defined bicep.) It was my birthday soiree, so of course, I was quite the lush. Paul was following me around throughout the night, and (not to my surprise nor recollection) I ended up kissing Paul in front of everyone. Needless to say, I had a fabulous time at my birthday party.

Paul and I had dinner plans a few days after. He planned to make me dinner with wine. I head over to his place after work, and he's made dinner. He poured me a glass of wine while he drank out of his tall beer can, and we ate dinner on the coffee table. =T I'm not one to judge; I was just being observant. Afterall, there was a perfectly good dining table in the dining room, but we still ate in front of the television. Paul said he would turn off his phone so no one could reach him. I wasn't sure what to make of that, but I assumed work was the one harrassing him since he is an account manager.

He mentioned that a friend was going to stop by. This friend did stop by. They went upstairs and came right back down. That seemed a little odd to me, but I brushed it off. Eventually, Paul asked if I wanted to grab a movie. I said yes. We took a detour from the East side of San Jose all the way to the far South side, stopped by another "friend's" house to "say a quick hello," then we stopped by the bank, and then we went to Blockbuster. At that point, I had a HEAVY suspicion that this guy was slanging.

We came back to his place and watched the movie while chatting more. I found out he's 1/2 white and 1/2 black (pardon my somewhat politically incorrect lingo). He asked me to stay the night, and promised that we would just sleep. After some convincing, I caved. And sure enough, we JUST slept. I wasn't sure what to think about this guy because I could tell that he was really making the effort to be respectful.

The next day, he asked me what I was doing in the evening. I had plans to go to Santana Row with Lobster and friends. Paul asked if he could come, too. He showed up, and was VERY attentive to me. I wasn't really feelin Paul, but a girl always likes some attention. And I have to say that it was nice to get all this attention from a guy. Even Lobster mentioned that night that Paul seemed really into me.

Paul and I have a conversation at Blowfish, and basically, he admitted to dealing. (ummm NEG-A-TIVE!) At this point, I KNEW that all I wanted from this guy was some fun. Nothing more.

The next day, he asks me what I'm doing in the evening. I told him I was headed back to SRow because my roommate's friend is having a party. Paul tells me he's headed to downtown SJ. I'm pretty relieved because I REALLY did not feel like seeing this guy 3 days in a row. However, on our way to SRow, I get a text message from Paul saying that he and his friend changed their mind and are headed to SRow, too. Great. (Please sense my sarcastic tone.)

So we're at Rosie McCann's in SRow, and I see Paul. I just wanted to have a good time with my roommate, so I somewhat ignored Paul. He was probably thinking, "Why the hell is this girl not all over me?!" (Since he seems to think that ALL women swoon over him because he's so "foine") Eventually, he comes up to me and tells me that all his friends are wondering what's going on between he and myself. So for the rest of the night at Rosie's he kept grabbing me and making out with me in front of everyone. As we all know, I am NOT a fan of PDA! On top of that, he kept trying to instigate shit. He would tell me that these 2 girls were following he and I around and trying to take pictures of him. He repeatedly asked me, "What are you gonna do about it?" Each time I heard that, I thought, "Umm nothing, you dumb fuck."

I kept checking in with him to see how wasted he was getting. I asked over and over, "On a scale from 1 to 10, how drunk are you?" He said he was at a 5. Then a 6. Then a 7. Eventually, he got to an 8 (which means PLEASE no more or the next drink will get him falling down or blanking out).

The friend that he came with walked up to Paul and told him that it was time to leave because their ride had been waiting for 2 hours.

Paul: Well let him fucking wait then!
Friend: Ummm, okkkk. I'm leaving then.

More words were exchanged, and afterwards, I asked if everything was alright. Paul yelled at me and told me to "mind my own business" in his ape-like, bellowing tone. Then, Paul said to me, "I can' fuck wit chu no mo'!" Translation: I cannot see you anymore. (I think... that's the best i could do. I don't speak thug!) To that, I just kept on sipping my drink and walked away. But Paul grabbed my arm and told me: Hahahaha nahhh I'm jus playin.

I mean seriously, WTF, man!? He then told me, "I got chu all figured out. I got all women figured out."

Me: Oh you do? You've got me figured out? I can't figure you out!
Paul: Whut!? [Speaking right at my nose] You know what I want! If you don't know what I want, then you're fuckin blind. [Add in some beligerent slurring to that sentence].
Me: [Thinking] Are you fucking serious right now? NO, I do NOT know what the hell you want. Would you like some water? Some food? I mean, you always want food... WHAT!?

So we head back to my house because he has NO IDEA how to get to his car. The whole way back, he's basically kicking and yelling in the back seat saying how he needs to ride in a car where the driver is driving GOOD. What an idiot! I was sober; the driver was driving WELL! We eventually get back to my house and he's yelling at my friends to get him some food. Specifically, he wanted some Jack in the Box tacos! There isn't a Jack anywhere near my place, so my roommate went on an adventure with her friend to find homeboy some tacos. While they were out, he stomped up my stairs to my room complaining the whole way.

Once he got to my room, he started ripping off all his clothes. He threw his shirt at me and told me to hang it up. I was pretty irate and embarassed at this point, so I just slammed his shirt on my towel rack. He yelled at me with his thuggish ruggish tone and told me to "HANG IT UP!" So FINE! I did! And I was NOT happy to do so! Eventually, he passed out. Naked. On my floor. With my blankets. I went downstairs to get him some water, but when I went to give it to him, he just knocked it all over my dog, Cosmo, and me. So after being drenched in water, he started to snore, so I figured he was good for the night. He was passed out, so I turned on the light in my bathroom so he could find his way if he needed to, and I went to sleep in my bed.

In the middle of the night, I wake up to what sounded like water flowing. I wake up, and I see Paul peeing. ON MY CARPET. On ALL fours!! (Like a dog, minus the leg lift)

Me: PAUL! What are you doing!?!? Stop it!
Paul: [Looks at me with a crazy "I'm going to KILL you look"] Shut up! Shut up and stop! Just STOP!

Throughout the rest of the night, he tried to make himself comfortable, so he kicked over my bookcase and my fan. There's markings on my wall now from that night. I totally thought he was about to murder me. He's a big guy, and his muscles look lethal. He woke up the next morning, butt-naked, started laughing, and asked me WTF happened. I was piiisssssed, and when I told him, he laughed. He thought I was joking. Oh, no, mister! I'm dead fucking serious! I told him to look at the puddle on the floor if he needed evidence. He did, and he was embarassed. He told me that he had a steamer at home, and he would come back and clean up his mess. I was leaving for Vegas the following day, so I asked him to come by later that night to clean his pee mess. He did. It was late when he finished, so he and I fell asleep.

I THINK he figured out that I was 'game over' after what he did. I avoided his calls and texts for the next week. Eventually, he sent me a text that said, "Did I do something wrong? Why haven't you answered any of my calls or texts?"

Wow, what a genius. This guy was SUCH a tool. If you heard him speak, your face would be: O..O
At first look, you don't expect him to be as stupid as he is. He carries himself with confidence. He dresses very clean, very well. He doesn't dress like a drug dealer/gangster/thug from East Oakland or Crenshaw Blvd in LA. But once he starts speaking, ohhhhh MERCY! He's a prime candidate for next season's Tool Academy. He once told me that he lived in Illinois. Paul's pronunciation: Ill-in-oy-S. Actual pronunciation: Ill-in-OY. *slaps forehead* What an idiot.

Anyway, I responded to his message by calling him and telling him that ever since that awful night, I was pretty much done. Well, he was pretty butt-hurt from that convo, so he started getting defensive. He told me that if i ever see him around, I better not come up to him and tell him that I changed my mind... because THEY ALL do. I laughed at that, and I told him not to worry, because i won't be changing my mind. We get off the phone and he sends me a MEAN text saying that I'm a "wack ass bitch" and he "can't believe he allowed himself to be seen kissing me in public" and he's glad he "replaced me quick" because I need to remember that I was "just part of his team." OOOOOh! I felt the steam coming out of my ears! I wanted to say sooo much back to him, but I left it hanging. That probably pissed him off more. What I wanted to write back was:

Ok, look here you uneducated, sad excuse for a human being. Don't call me "wack" when you can't even spell "WHACK." You're a fucking chauvanistic pig! You think you're God's gift to women and that you know our gender so well, when you're soooooo not and you don't know shit! You think you're SO different, but you're a stereotypical nigga (yes, I dropped the N word) except for when it comes for below the belt, and THAT you are WELL BELOW AVERAGE. I have CLASS, an education, a pretty face (hehe yeah, had to throw that in there), a family who loves me, and friends who love me for who I am, not because I sell them illegal narcotics! What do you have? The attitude of a dude right out of jail, the face of an ape, the intelligence level of a 6th grader, muscles that you don't know how to even use, and a son that I feel SO SORRY FOR because he's being raised by an ass hole like you and will grow up to be just as sorry and stupid as his FATHER!!!

You know that saying, "Once you go b----, you never go back"? Well, I may have gone there... but I ran home, and HELL NO will I ever be going back. It's safe to say, this phase/chapter is closed.

Butterface

The girls and I were at Tabu nightclub in San Francisco to celebrate a friend's birthday. It was a typical birthday celebration at a club: VIP table with several new faces. The first thing I noticed was a vest, and vests on a guy are risky. Regardless, whomever this guy was pulled it off very well. He was looking sharp! Everyone was introduced to everyone, and everyone took shot after shot in honor of the birthday girl.

A familiar song came on, and you can guess the stereotypical reaction of girls. Yes, jumping up and down, screaming "Oh my God!! It's OUR songgggg!!!" We maneuvered our girl army to the dance floor. The vest guy from the VIP area started dancing with me, and he was getting awfully close. This point of the night I had probably 5 or 6 shots of Hennessy. I'm not sure how the conversation started, but the vest guy and I were chatting for some time. Our conversation was the usual step one convo:

1) Where are you from?
2) Who are you here with?
3) What do you do?

So I found out a little bit about him. He's from Daly City, he's there with his friend who brought him to Tabu for my girl friend's birthday. He's an engineering student that lives at home because he takes care of his mom. I stroked his ego by telling him he's a good man for taking care of his mother. That apparently was an invitation into my mouth because for the remainder of the night, he could not stop kissing me. Yes, I know... POOR judgment on my part, but after what I had been through in the last year (a completely different story that will eventually be another entry), drinking and getting wasted became my favorite past-time. Several familiar faces were at Tabu that night, but I didn't care. I was amidst my "good badness" (a term us girls use to describe what flirting at a club can lead to as it involves lots and lots of alcohol). Later in the evening, as I began to sober up, I realized what a fool I was! Anyway, what's done was done, and the night was over.

Very early the next day, I received a message on Facebook from the vest guy. His name is Sean. he found me through our mutual friends. He sent me a message that said that he had a wonderful time last night, couldn't stop thinking about me and the night, and that he's sorry he didn't get my phone number. In the message, he left me his phone number. Based on his profile picture (since I cannot clearly remember his face as a result of the massive amount of alcohol I consumed), I replied back and gave him my number. We were in the text message limbo for a couple days, and on Monday, he was studying for finals in San Jose. He gave me a phone call, and we started chatting. The conversation started to get lengthy, so I asked if we can save the rest of it over coffee or lunch or dinner. It was last minute, but we agreed to have dinner that evening since neither of us had eaten yet.

Dinner was a blast! He was a wonderful companion during dinner. I thought we were going to have a short meal, but we ended up closing the restaurant because our conversations never ended. We realized how we're such nice people, but we had so many bad things that happen to us.... probably because we're TOO NICE. At the end of dinner, I could tell that he and I were going to be great friends.

He went home and gave me a call. We ended up spending another 3 hours on the phone. The same the next night... and the next night! Some feelings were beginning to surface from all these conversations, but I wasn't sure how I felt. I was at the point in my life where staying single was healthy. After all, I had been in and out of relationships non-stop for the past 8 years. However, I had to try. I didn't want to be completely closed off because I could potentially be missing out on something great! So I decided to be brave and give this guy a chance.

Sean and I had a study date. I was studying for a certification exam, and he was studying for finals. The man can dress, and I have a weakness for defined arms. On this outing, he was wearing one of those thermal-looking fitted, long-sleeved shirts that showed off his arms. Sean's a pretty slender guy, but this shirt accentuated his biceps. *DROOL* This outing was fun and productive, and he had asked me out to dinner on Saturday evening. Great, an official date. I'm typically not a fan of dates because there's so much pressure! I had always been myself on "dates," but my usual concern was that the other person would put up a front to impress me.

Saturday night came, and Sean drove from Daly City to pick me up in San Jose. I answered the door, and there he stood with a dozen roses. I was absolutely flattered! I don't care what anyone says, chivalry is NOT dead! Sean took me to dinner at a Shabu Shabu (Japanese hotpot) restaurant in San Mateo. Afterwards, we were supposed to go on a Bay cruise, but it was a cold night, so his plan for after-dinner fell through. Our Plan B was to go to a party where our friends were so we went to a house party in San Francisco.

I was smitten. I had not received that much attention in months! Everytime I looked at the roses I would look back at the evening. I was smitten but scared. However, I couldn't figure out why I was scared. I figured that the late night phone calls were nice. The "getting-to-know each other" phase was nice. Having someone care about me like that was nice. But there was something off-- I just couldn't put my finger on it.

I would surf Facebook and see his pictures on his profile. Other than his actual profile picture, he's not an attractive guy. I questioned my opinion because this guy took 2 years off from school to model in Europe. Nevertheless, I did not find him very photogenic. I started to realize that the certain "something" that was off was my lack of attraction for him! I felt terrible because that was so shallow of me-- he's such a nice, good person!

The day of my exam, he drove from Daly City to San Jose to pick me up, and then drove me to San Francisco to take me to my exam (an hour each way). I passed the exam that day, and he took me to a very nice celebratory lunch. I couldn't help but feel like I was being unfair, so on the ride home, as we were in traffic, I spoke my peace. I told him that it's not fair to him to keep dating me because I don't want to date anyone at this point in my life. I told him that I felt lost, and that the only people that I feel confident with are my girl friends. I asked him once before, during one of our late night phone calls, that if we didn't make it dating, could we still be friends? He said yes then, and as we were chatting in the car, he kept his word. He also asked me how long I needed. I told him I needed to feel happy with myself, and I don't know how long that will take. He seemed to understand, and I was thankful that he was such a nice, respectful person.

That Saturday, my girlfriends and I had our holiday dinner in San Francisco. Afterwards, we went to a familiar spot, Suede nightclub. As we waited to get in, we saw Sean waiting in line. Some of the girls panicked and immediately came up to me and asked me if I wanted to stay because Sean was there. I assured the girls that I would be ok since Sean and I were friends, BUT I asked the girls to keep an eye out for me because I do not want to make out with Sean. (Alcohol hinders my better judgement, so I needed back up.) Sean came up to me to say hello, but the girls pulled me away.

Throughout the night, every time Sean came near me, the girls pulled me away. At one point in the night, the girls and I were dancing together, and this annoying, fobby, pipsqueak kept bugging us. A few of us had told him to stop and go away, but he kept trying. After a few tries, it just got obnoxious, so I pushed and shoved him away and told him to leave us alone. He tried one more time, but Sean pulled me away. The girls saw, and one of my girl friends pulled me away from Sean and kicked him in the shin. Another girl began the girl army train and pulled us all out of Suede to go to another club.

The next morning, I flew to San Diego to attend my best friend's wedding. I felt terrible about that incident, so I thought I would call Sean and apologize. He was very understanding about it. He understood that my girls were just trying to protect me, and they were looking out for my best interest. I couldn't help but think how this guy was such a sweetheart! How could I not be interested in someone so understanding and sweet?! I spent New Years Eve down in San Diego, and I flew home on New Years Day. My flight changed a couple times, but Sean still offered to pick me up from the airport. He was trying to be a good friend. At this point, I felt on the fence because I knew my gut was telling me to be platonic, but there was a part of me that wanted to give him another chance.

After that night, I fell really sick and was out of commission for a week. At the end of the week, Sean asked me to dinner and a movie on Friday night. I thought it was harmless, so I agreed. In fact, his birthday was coming up, and since he had given me a lavish Christmas present, I wanted to return the favor, and I got him a Micheal Kors watch for his birthday. I gave him the gift at the beginning of the night, but he didn't open it in front of me. Dinner was fun, but he crossed the "friend line" a couple times. He reached for my hand in the car and even leaned in for a kiss. I pushed him back and said, "You know, you're making this friend thing difficult." He said, "I can't help it. If I'm going to hang out with you, I'm going to want to kiss you." My response to that: none.

Instead of a movie, we went to Santana Row for drinks. Normally, my tolerance is through the roof. I can finish 2 bottles of Hennessy with 4 of my girl friends in one night. On this night, I had 2 glasses of wine at dinner, 2 lychee martinis at Santana Row, 1 shot of Grey Goose, and 1 fruitie tootie drink. Mind you, this is in the span of 6 or 7 hours. I blacked out and woke up in the car, in the Santana Row parking garage at 5am! It was definitely an off night for me. I don't remember walking to the car. I don't remember sitting in the car. I don't remember passing out in the car. Everything I was wearing was still in tact, so I assumed nothing had happened that night (THANK GOD!).

As I was getting ready for the day, I noticed some markings on my neck. Ok, what the hell!? There were hater marks on my neck from the previous night! I was furious! Not only do I not remember any of that happening, but Sean knew my standpoint about public displays of affection. On top of that, I have a very strong personality, and there's no way in hell that I tolerate marking territory on one's body. Earlier that week, I had asked Sean to accompany me to a good friend's birthday. I kept that appointment (yes, I'm saying appointment and not "date."), but I was not a happy camper. I kept to myself most of the car ride to San Francisco. He asked if anything was wrong, and I mentioned it to him. He seemed to feel terrible, but I think that he was secretly happy at what he accomplished.

During my friend's birthday dinner, we were asked how long we had been dating. Umm, AWKWARD turtle! I looked at my other girls who knew of my situation with Sean, and they gave me an "oh boy.. you're on your own with that question, Jo" look. So to save anyone from embarrassment, I fibbed and said that Sean and I have been dating for about a month. Now that I look back at that moment, I should've said that Sean and I were friends and not dating because that comment from me opened a door for Sean. For the remainder of the night, he kept making it seem like we were a couple, and I tried my hardest to stay away from that. I tried to be the night's paparazzi, and I tried to focus my pictures on the rest of the group. Since he needed to update his pictures on Facebook, we took a couple pictures together. At the end of the night, I ended up driving his car home because homeboy was too wasted. When we arrived at my house, I couldn't let him drive back home in his condition, so I asked him to stay. Instead of sleeping in my room, I had him sleep on my couch. Just to be hospitable, I slept downstairs on the other couch. I had not realized that after midnight, it was officially Sean's birthday, and I didn't greet him a happy birthday. He left the next morning with a bit of a heavy heart, or so it seemed. Later that afternoon, I realized that it was his birthday, so I sent him a birthday greeting via text message and Facebook. He never thanked me for the birthday present, but he did say, "Thank you for everything."

Over the next few days, I kept my distance. I was still upset about the hater mark incident from that Friday night. The more I thought about it, the more angry I became. I can't remember the last time I was THIS turned off. On Monday, I was looking through my camera, and every time I came across a picture of Sean, I cringed. He's not that bad looking in person, but he's not very photogenic! It's a head-scratcher because he was a model-- in Europe of all places! I'd scroll through my camera and every time his picture came up, I had to pull the camera away from me and think "Oh man, too close! Too close!"

I was telling my roommate how I felt, and she said she understood where I was coming from. First of all, he has a bald head, but his head was shaped weird. When one has a funny shaped head, one should have hair to even it out. Second, he has this creepy look in his eyes, almost like a pedofile. Third, he hissed! When I say I want a man, I want a MAN! Not a fem-boy! Despite all that, he did dress very well. I was diggin' the metrosexual in him. So one night, my roommate enlightened me and said, "He's the male equivalent of a male butterface."

DING DING DING! That was it! My physical attraction to the guy was exactly what was missing, and his lack of respect and crossing the friend boundary with hater marks while I was completely incoherent pushed me over the edge.

He eventually sought me out on Facebook to talk to me, but I kept my conversation short. I asked him not to speak to me since I was enraged by his complete lack of respect for what I wanted and for me. So much for mister nice guy... he's butterface now. And the chapter on butterface is closed.

Liar Liar Pants On Fire

Three years ago, I met and dated Norman. Norm works for a software company in the peninsula, but his hobby and passion is music. Norm writes, sings, and produces songs. Three years ago, Norm's ex-girlfriend played a little psychotic role on me and had one of her friends find me on AIM to seek whatever information he/she could about me. Back then I thought this was pretty crazy, so I figured it would be best to set myself apart from Norm and his crazy ex-girlfriend. Since we know several of the same people, I heard through the grapevine that Norm and his crazy ex reunited and eventually started living together.

For the longest time I blocked Norm on AIM after the "psychotic" incident. About two months ago, I figured that enough time lapsed, and I should grow up and unblock the guy. I did. As soon as I did, Norm messaged me. It was harmless at first. After a day or two of reconnecting and catching up, Norm started flirting. I felt a jolt from the past. Norm always considered me as "the one that got away." For years, he considered me as THE ONE. I can't say I EVER felt the same way. Three years ago, Norm had written an entire album about me. After reconnecting, I heard the re-arranged versions of these songs, and I was loving it! Even though I wasn't interested in Norm romantically, I still considered him a friend. Anyway, Norm asked me to breakfast one morning, and he was confiding in me about his relationship. He told me how unhappy he was being with her, but it was complicated because they live together. A few days later, Norm told me he and his girlfriend had split. As a friend, I couldn't help but sympathize for the guy.

He asked me out to a sushi dinner, so I said yes. We had a great time-- lots of laughs, a couple sake bombs, even a kiss here and there. The next day, I apologized for my lack of consideration... the guy did just break up with his long-term girlfriend. He told me that there was no need to apologize because I'm the right one. He hung out with my friends a couple times, but it was always awkward. I was reminded of his mannerisms that annoyed the hell out of me. For example, we would be sitting around in my living room, and suddenly the man would break out into song. I never understood that, not to mention totally awkward. With those thoughts, HOW could I possibly be the "right one?!"

Anyway, he asked me to a Warriors game either on the 1st of the 15th of December. I picked the 15th because I have a track record of going to Warriors games, and they lose. I figured that since the Warriors were playing the Miami Heat on the 1st, I should avoid that game because that might make it THAT much harder for the Warriors to beat the powerful Heat. (Yes, I know... Way to have faith in the Warriors, Jo.) To make up for it, Bear took me to watch the game on the 1st at Jersey's, a philly cheesesteak joint in downtown. It was another good time. When it comes to sports, I don't follow professional leagues in detail, but I DO know the games played, especially basketball. (I used to play in middle and high school.)

Later that week, I received an anonymous email from the fictitious email address bribriannes@gmail.com saying, "You don't know me, but I wanted to contact you about something that I think you should know. I saw you out with my friend's boyfriend last week. I didn't want to assume that he is cheating on her, but I also don't want my friend to get hurt. FYI he does have a girl so if I were you, I would stay away. I would know that they are still together and happy, I just talked to her today. If you don't believe me, you should ask her. I haven't told her that I saw him with you last week because I don't think it is something that she needs to hear from me. It's up to you what you want to do from here, but I thought I would let you know to save everyone from embarrassment. I didn't want to get involved but I don't want my friend to be hurt. If you want her contact info, I'll give it to you. I hope I'm wrong and that you and her boyfriend are just friends. Thanks for your time............"

I was in irate when I read this, so I text Norm at 2am asking if he was awake. No response. I woke up still angry, and saw homeboy online. I forwarded Norm the email, along with my response, "Hey there. Thanks for your concern. Your friend is lucky to have you as her friend. You seem to care about her feelings. I'm assuming you are referring to Norm and Rose. Yes, he and I are good friends. We've known each other for years. I don't know when you last spoke to your friend, Rose, but per Norm, they're no longer together. However, I know that they still live together, so it's a complicated situation. I'm trying to be a good friend to him and hear him out when needed and keep the guy company when our schedules coordinate. Anyway, that's my side of the story. Clearly, someone's not being honest in this relationship. Have a good night and thank you for your time, as well. By the way, how did you get my email addy?" (I never got a response. I bet she hacked into his work email account and dug up my email address based on my first and last name.)

He was speechless. The only thing he could come up with was, "I'm sorry you got involved." I asked him what was going on, and all he kept saying was, "I'm sorry you got involved." After a couple minutes of 20 questions, he then asked me, "Do you think I'm lying to you?" I told him that someone is lying to someone, and that he needs to stop talking to me until he's straightened this situation out, and I guess the Warriors vs. Heat game was off. On the night of the game, I received a text message that said, "For what its worth, I wish you where here." WTF?! Was he trying to rub it in my face? Or did he actually mean it? Whatever the motive, I didn't seem to care.

I had not heard from him, and while I was in San Diego for my best friend's wedding, I was surfing Facebook. It turns out that Norm and his crazy girlfriend never broke up! In fact, they are now ENGAGED! I saw several "congratulations" posts on his wall, so I decided to be a little dramatic and wrote, "Congratulations..... that's dirty =P"

Sure enough, that caught his attention. He sent me a long email saying how confused he was.. yadda yadda yadda... he finally found someone that's good for him... yadda yadda yadda... the stars didn't line up for us, but I will be the one that got away.... twice.

My response: There's so much I want to say, but it's difficult for me to gather my thoughts. I thought of you [Norm] as a "great guy." Was I ever wrong! You are right, what you have done does not make you worthy of her. Clearly she is blinded by all your lies because she said yes. I hope one day you two can finally be honest with each other. I hope you don't become another divorce statistic. I hope you don't make her become a bitter, angry woman because there's enough of us out there. You don't need to bother waiting around until I speak to you becaause you're not even worthy of my friendship. Like I said, congratulations and Happy New Year... Now can you sense my sarcasm?!

They will one day marry, and for statistics sake, I hope they stay married and have their ugly children together. He's cheated on her before, and I'm willing to bet that he will cheat again. Good luck to them. As for me, the Norm chapter is closed.