I think I've completely lost what the meaning of love really is. I think my entire adult life has been dedicated to desparately trying to find that true love. I found it once, and now i doubt I'll ever find anything that comes close to it. I think I've been left so broken after Peter, that I've been trying to find someone that will fill that void. However, in that journey, I've ended up hurting myself so many times, in so many ways I don't deserve. But I admit it, I brought all of it upon myself. I have to give Peter credit. He was sooooo much stronger than me to remain single until there was someone that caught his heart like I didnt. Instead, I just settled... and settled... and settled.

I want the day to come when I'm happy in love, but I dont even remember what it feels like to be in love. How can I be "THE ONE" to so many people (*rolls eyes* btw), but I haven't felt that about anyone. Or if I thought I did, i was TERRIBLY wrong. How am I supposed to know what's real and what's not? :(